part of me i can('t) erase

dah 2 bulan berlalu sejak peristiwa itu...well, i keep saying to myself it's time to move on, that it's really not worth everything about me, that i deserve better one...but "the thing" just won't let me go, at least for now..

In the very beginning of the new line of my life (new line i was forced to make, because the last paragraph was "terminated" somehow:( there were rather gloomy days i've gone through. But thanks to my dear friends around me who keep supporting and give me the power to go through those days. You guys were really helpful. You guys made me stronger day by day.

but in the time i was alone,,the thought, the flasback, the memories would just drop in uninvited, reaping myself from the inside, so sick of it it turn myself from silent cried to a completely mute anger (zingg...--")

I was so desperate at first, I felt God was really unfair to me this time, I thought He granted me what really was the opposite of my wish. I was so sad my heart cried so often (I didn't cry it out of course, what a psycho) until I came to the point I said to myself "well, not yet finish? when will you stop begging like this? aren't you embarass with urself?" "YOU DESERVE BETTER!"

From the time i decide i have to move on...well my mind, my logic are ready to move on..maybe my heart not yet...

*i wrote this blog because my nap was disturbed by....ah u know...flashback 'n sumthin like that..they just won't budge *lebay

that's all...hope i write again sometime...bye

a-not-so-anti-climax penalty shoot-out

this day, may 22nd 08, has been one of the most beautiful day in my life, witnessing Manchester United be the winner of UEFA Champion League 07/08 at Moscow, Russia. Finally, after waiting for 9 years since 1999, i saw the trophy back in the hand of Fergie's babes. FYI, Man Utd won the cup after beating Chelsea 6-5 (agg 7-6) on a very dramatic penalty shoot-out. The ninety-minutes game end with both teams scored a singel goal, with no difference in the extra-time. The seventh heaven boy Ronaldo opened the thrilling encounter on minute 26 with an accurate header following Brown's crossing. After that, the game flow seemed to be taken in the hand of the devils, making two breath-taking chances failed by the brilliance of Petr Cech. Just seconds before the first half came to a close when United defenders made mistake and Lampard moved free and tipped the ball to level the blues with Man United. What a mess, in the second half Chelsea totally took control of the game. They are making chances and so unlucky Didier Drogba's shot miss just millimeters away from the net to hit the side bar. My friends told me there was another unlucky bar-hitting shot from Chelsea in the extra time. I'm not lucky enough to miss it when i fell asleep for a couple of minutes:p (it's because I attended unimportant presentation in HMS, i was so tired..sucks). Well, after 120 minutes of draw game, the winner have to be decided with a shoot-out. This one i was sure enough Man United would seal the title, remembering the agility of Van der Sar in penalty SO. Oh yeah, Drogba got dismissed from the game in extra time after insulting Vidic (well, it was just a soft clap on the cheek..but the referee is the boss..he said it was unappropriate:) Ok. First time shooter was everything. Teves did great. Cech jumped the wrong way. Chelsea leveled with Ballack. I forgot who's next, but the world seemed black out for me when Cech failed Ronaldo:( Okay. Hargraves gave hope. And Terry should be the judge if he scored...and he FAILED. Oo my heart seemed to explode. Terry slipped and his shot gone wide. Well, thinking he was the blues' cap, how did he feel when he destroyed his team-mate feelings. Well, he cried a lot in the end..poor Terry. The SO continued. Anderson scored. Kalou did too. Giggs did it, then Van der Sar failed Anelka, and the morning became my most beautiful morning. Man Utd did it. Ronaldo explode. He cried. The United burst into glory. Giggs, i think it's time for u to retire, what else you are longing. U've gotten everything with the devils:p You've became a legend. This's the perfect time. Thank you blues for the thrilled. You all did perfect. But Fergie's babes are the best in the universe.Glory2 Man United.

uda lama ga nge-blog..

nyambung judulnya..kynya anget2 tai ayam ni gw nge-blog..niatan update si uda lama,,tapi selalu gagal,,well ni hari gw tekadkan untuk ngup-date biar kata mata uda 1/2 watt n otak ud butek gara2 tugas pak ofyar aka yopie (lucu lo bntuk dosennya,,remind me of the blue-cat-like robot,,tapi klw ngasi tugas n ujian ampun2an :p)

this time gw mo nulis something different,,gak lg menuliskan kehidupan gw hari ini (this's not a diary anyway..),,

pada pernah pengen menghentikan waktu ga? atau mungkin lebih cocok menjadi "Tuhan" so kt bisa ngatur waktu sesuka hati..cepetin, lambatin, tambahin, kurangin, diulang, dimajuin, stop, atau malah hilangkan waktu sama sekali..

kenapa bgitu? soalnya klw menurut gw, waktu itu bisa bikin kita marah, sedih, stres, tapi bisa juga bikin kita seneng, jumawa, etc..kalau kita ketemu seseorang, dan tu orang jadi tmen baik kita,,sering ngabisin waktu bersama,,bukankah kita merasa waktu ketika bersama dengan orang tsb sangat berharga? ketika kebersamaan itu memasuki menit2 akhir,,well sedih jg kn rasanya,,klw bisa kt ga pengen momen itu berakhir, kt pengen lebi lama..dan ketika berakhir kita pasti pengen punya waktu bersama lagi, lagi, dan lagi..but,,ketika kita harus pisah ama tu orang (klise no.1: every meeting has its end:p) apa yg kita rasa? sedih, marah,kalap,stress? knowing kt mungkin ga akan lg mendapatkan waktu yg menyenangkan sprti sebelumnya,,kalau bisa tntu kita ingin selambat mungkin sampai di momen itu kan? pasti kt ngerasa sedih kan, karena gak bisa menghentikan waktu, atau memutarbalikan waktu, pokonya sebisa mungkin menghindari momen perpisahan itu (sayang sekali Tuhan hanya mewariskan ilmu ini pada doraemon),,

kt memang cuma bisa menciptakan kenangan di waktu2 yang kita punya,,mo jungkir balik gimanapun, kenangan itu kaga bakal balik lg,,kadang2 saking indahnya tu kenangan, rasanya nyesek banget ketika sewaktu-waktu kita recall,,but that's the way it happened,,perfect moment diciptakan bwat dikenang, bukan buat ditangisin,,klw ada yg bilang "Tuhan memberi, Tuhan mengambil", bisa juga dibilang "waktu mempertemukan, waktu pula yg akan memisahkan"

saat ini kt gak bisa apa2, mungkin nanti beratus-ratus taon ke depan, ada yg bisa dilakukan,,kita blom tw

*sebuah pemikiran*

for the last time

ga2..judul di atas bukan berarti ini terakir kali gw nge blog..supaya menarik minat pembaca aja hehehe..tapi for the last time di sini tu maksudnya berakhir juga patisipasi gw sebagai anggota aktif di kmk itb..

akirnya acara paskahan kmk itb 08 berjalan juga..gw akui smpet pesimis juga bakal banyak yang dateng,,but hey it's not bad,,klw niko ga salah itung si 120 orang lewat tuh,,banyak juga kan,,well gw ikut bantu2 persiapan acara ni dari awal,,salahnya gw uda rapi2 dari awal padahal mo jadi kuli angkut dulu,,yg laen masi tampang bangun tidur semua (masi kaos kutang n celana pendek juga),,jadi ngerasa culun juga,,tapi biarlah

acaranya ga ngaret (kemajuan nih, pertahankan ya),,n tadi untuk pertama kalinya gw nge-boss ke anak2 dokumentasi (huee),,nyuruh ini itu diturutin semua (awal2nya si, akir2nya uda pada cape kasian juga,,sori2 demi yg terbaik ini),,pokonya 2 jempol untuk kerja dokumentasi,,i can't ask for more:)

overall acaranya menyenangkan,,sekaligus melelahkan,,karena tadi untuk pertama kalinya gw tetep stay abis acara untuk jadi kuli angkut lagi beres2in,,(klw ga ntar orang tvst ngamuk2 makan nyamuk lg) biasa si langsung ngacir males bantu2,,cape pisan si,,tapi for the last time,,ga ada salahnya gw bersikap total,,abis ni gw pensiun n become totally ansos wakakak kmk 08 maju terus semangat ya,,

so,,thx banget terutama buat inge, fani,vincent anak basis gw,,untuk kerja keras kalian di divisi dokumentasi,,gw yakin lu pada ga tega klw harus ngeliat gw kerepotan nge-handel semua sndiri(iya kan?hehehe),,buat vincent teruskan jejak bapakmu ini ya langganan dokumentasi kmk hohoho,,tengkyu juga buat panitia yg lain,,pat2, niko, yohanes, somebody (duh lupa namanya--"), n anak2 lain sesama kuli angkut meja n panggung (pada kejang otot ga?) n semua panitia n peserta lain yg turut menyukseskan acara ini,,

pelajaran yg bisa gw petik dari paskahan ni adalah "put every effort you can think of cos it worth the result" cos the result, di samping kepuasan gw atas acara ini, ada hadiah lain yg gw males cerita di sini hehehe,,

see u in the next blog

review

seperti biasa,,ngeblog sbelom bobo,,skg gw mo nyoba review film yg tadi gw tonton,,Three Kingdoms: Ressurection of the Dragon,,yg pertama kepikiran waktu mo nonton film ini tuh:"wahh,,dynasty warrior di-filmin ni,,qren dong yak,,"yah tapi apa bole di kata ngeliat pemainnya kecewa juga,,tampang2 pemainnya kurang berkharisma,,tapi biarlah,,yang penting ceritanya,,

anyway film ni lumayan lah,,terakhir kali gw nonton film mandarin tu curse of golden flower n gw kuciwa berathh,,nah ni film tu jauh lebi mantap,,trutama one-on-one battlenya,,trus nilai plusnya juga tampilnya maggie Q (aa cantik^^),,dari tokoh bijak kaya liu bei, yang licik kaya cao, n tntu aja andy lau sebagai Zilong, sampe annoying character mulai dari tampang ampe sikap(ko gw kebayang deddy mizwar ya?),,bner2 bqn kita minimal tau lah tentang zama 3 kerajaan yg terkenal itu,,overall ni film gw kasi 3 dari 5 deh,,

oya trus uda pada baca 168 jam dalam sandera blom?itu loh novel memoar meutya wartawati metro tv yang disandera di irak,,gw blom selese baca si,,tapi so far tu novel so nice,,ntar klw gw uda selese baca gw review lebi lengkap d,,

y uda itu dulu,,bsok nulis2 lagi

*looking forward:disney on ice on 26th april 08

ngeblog malem2

nulis lagi,,masi semangat baru punya blog,,

hari ni ga da kejadian yg luar biasa, selain cerita ttg dosen PKn gw yg ajaib tadi,,btw hari ni akirnya gw nge-bucks lg (starbucks loh,,gw bukan junkie,,bahh it's a big no no),,seperti biasa gw beli caramel frapucino (my favourite nih,,),,woww,,so tasty mungkin karena gw uda lama ga nyicip kali ya,,

hari2 bsok bakal cukup sibuk bwt gwe,,secara gw harus nyiapin dokumentasi paskahan,,n GW BLOM ADA BATIK!!,,gosh gw bener2 lupa,,ada sih batik2 dulu pas SMA cuma itu kan batik asal2an bukan batik bwat acara bertemakan "tempoe doeloe" yang "sunda abiesszz"..ah masa mo pinjem punya om gw yg bodinya bigsize? ntar gw keliatan kelelep dong,,T.T,,anyway pada doain ya biar acaranya sukses,,coz ni kerjaan terakir gw d KMK itb (mudah2an, soalnya abis ni 07 semua yg handle)

ya udah agh segini aja,,gw uda ngantuk si,,tapi blom mo bobo kynya,,mo nerusin baca novel dulu ah,,

nunggu kuliah ambil ngantuk2..

kalau ngeliat judulnya pasti banyak yg ngira gw nulis ni di kampus ambil nunggu kuliah..ga ko gw lg santai2 di kamar coz gw paling males klw nunggu kuliah di kampus..jadi sebisa mungkin klw lg jeda kuliah gw pulang, kecuali klw jedanya 1 jem k bawah ya gw nunggu d kampus lah..kaga efektif klw balik ke kos..udah2 kepanjangan pembukaanya..

kali ni gw mo cerita2 soal dosen PKn gw yg udah jadi concern selama ini..hahaha..akirnya kelewat bates juga tu orang pas kuliah tadi,,fyi,,ni dosen kayaknya maniak seks deh,,tiap kuliah pasti N PASTI deh nyeletuk soal hubungan seks,,sering bner dy bilang,,apa yang kalian banggakan?pernah berhubungan seks?punya pacar cantik lalu berhubungan seks?,,wah sakit ni orang,,tapi emang tampangnya potong2an germo gitu si,,pendek gendut botak jenggotan

masi banyak si keburukan ni orang klw mo disebutin satu2,,tapi klw gw beberin mah kynya berasa gw yg lenje juga si, jadi kt back to topic ajah..

kelewatannya ni orang..bukan soal seks itu..jadi td gini ceritanya,,gw seperti biasa lg baca novel pas dy ngasi kuliah (novelnya the subtle knife--ga penting--")..trus tmen2 sebelah gw pada cekikikan,,trus si bapak negor deh,,negornya gini,,"cina2 klw ribut trus keluar aja..kamu cina klw ga butuh indonesia keluar aja..kamu cina atao manado?..saya bukannya rasis ya,,tapi saya kesel karena kamu gak menghargai saya.." yah tapi klw uda nyebut2 gitu klw bukan rasis apalagi dong? kenapa harus sebut cina? bisa kan negor tapi ga usah pake cina?,,kita mang duduk dua baris banyakan cina2 si..hahaha..jadi mgkn itu kali ya yg merangsang si bapak untuk nyebut:p

gw si cuma ketawa pelan2 aja ambil tetep baca novel..yg ditegor juga ketawa2 aja..emang klw kita2 bcanda gitu rasis2an mah udah biasa..jadi ga ada yg tersinggung pas ditegor tadi..hahaha..yg ada malah mqn semangat ngata2in si dosen..lgan ga usah pake embel2 "saya ga rasis ko"..kn kita2 emang cina pak hahaha..kita sama bangganya ko jadi warga indo ama punya darah cina..hahaha

masi 1 1/2 jem lg menunggu kuliah..segini dulu deh..ntar klw ada peristiwa sayah update lagih..daaa semua

nb: kuliah dong jangan nitip absen trus:p